3 Skills to Teach Your Tween to Help Them Be Successful Young Adults

After years of teaching, having my own child and consistently being around children- I believe these skills will help your tween be successful young adults. Everyone wants to be the parent who is praised with how good their child is, right?
But let’s be real, our kids (just like us) have good days and bad. This is why it’s a good idea to keep our eye on the prize- we are parenting them for life. Teaching them skills that they will use for their entire life. And boy oh boy, “learned” habits can be your best friend or worst enemy.

So let’s start off with one of my favorites!
Be a problem solver not a problem creator. 
Think about a few successful people in your life, or even throughout modern history. Talk with your tween about them (cater to their interest). Whether that person recreated the wheel or simply found a better way to create a solution- it made them successful. But why?
Because people with the mind set of solving a problem don’t give up, they keep turning the 3D module to gain a different perspective. On the flip side- a problem creator is stopped in their tracks because things get hard or seem to be impossible. Encouragement and setting an example are great ways to put this into practice.

Teaching your child to identify issues and allowing their wheels to turn. Having them come up with a solution or multiple! Don’t be too quick to fly into the rescue and fix everything. Instead, walk them through the process.
A sample conversation may look like this:

“What’s the problem?”…… “Oh I’m sorry to hear that, how do you think you can solve that problem?”
** If they seem stuck, try throwing out a silly solution that you know won’t work but can lighten the mood. Then it will allow them to identify what won’t work, which is one step closer to what will work 🙂
Continue the conversation… “How is that working out for you”…. “Why do you (or why don’t you) think that’s working?”

Identifying their feelings and vocalizing them.
I feel like this is deceptively hard. When our kids were younger we taught them to use their words. Yet somewhere along the way, this becomes more of a challenge. But as with everything else, communication is best.
Now as a mom, I could give you the rundown on how my daughter is feeling most of the time because I know her so well. That however, won’t help her to be successful as a young adult.

Instead, we’re teaching her to identify how she’s feeling and talk about those feelings out loud. Then, trying to respond appropriately. Now, this is a huge undertaking and it will be a process. But remember, this is a life skill that we are trying instill.

Two important factors that I’ve recognized having a big impact on a tween, is food and sleep. This is a perfect area for tweens to acknowledge and work on self regulating.
In our house we have really focused on those two things and I’ve happy to report progress is being made. For example, my daughter showed some attitude the other night (shocker, right-lol). She then apologized, and told me she was feeling grumpy and really tired. I felt like standing up and cheering for the simple fact, she recognized and identified…. yeah, a positive step forward 🙂

The ability to talk about feelings in general will allow a healthy outlet, and hopefully diminish the chance of unhealthy choices made in the future.

Look for the silver lining and have a positive attitude. 
Easier said than done- absolutely! What better way for our tweens to learn than by watching us.
Really, the biggest benefit is choosing to be happy. That’s right- it’s a choice. When things don’t go your way and you choose to look at the bright side- you are happier.

I’m sure you know someone who always seems to find the silver lining. It’s an attractive trait for sure. In a friendship, an employee or a significant other. Yet, it doesn’t always come easy- which is why it’s something our kids can benefit from being taught. Even in the hardest circumstances, there are blessings all around us. It’s all in our perception and the power to choose!